I’m currently having one of those moments with my body. You know, one of those ‘fat’ days. My weight hasn’t changed since yesterday, or in fact from a few weeks ago when I woke up feeling great about myself, so where is the difference coming from?
As women, we’re often conditioned that we should look a certain way. I’m not just talking about the latest hair trends, or a penchant for bright lipstick, but an unachievable body type that we see regurgitated over and over in magazines and online. Yes, I might have issues with that state of my thighs, but even if I existing solely on protein and green vegetables for months, I would still have a bigger bum than I do chest – it’s just the way my body is supposed to be.
I’m all for people celebrating their own bodies – they’re amazing things after all. But I think we need to stop comparing ourselves to other people, and instead focus on our own well-being and promote positive thoughts about ourselves. You wouldn't walk up to your best friend and say ‘god you look like a right state today – do you think wearing that dress makes your bum look smaller? Think again fat ass’; which is exactly the conversation I had with myself this morning.
My relationship with my body has always been a little fragile – I’m not happy with it how it is at the moment and want to make some changes, and yet, when I was two stone lighter and slipped into a pair of size 8 skinny jeans without trying, I still felt fat. That’s the problem – fat for me is more than a physical thing, it’s a state of mind.
Over the next few months, I plan to focus on eating better, doing some exercise and most importantly of all, falling in love with my body. It might never look like Blake Lively unless they invent some sort of stretching machine, but it’s healthy, strong and it does a good job.
I’m making a promise to myself to stop being my own worst enemy and instead of insulting what I see in the mirror, saying something positive instead. It could just be celebrating a good hair day, or the fact I haven’t had a spot for a month; but I’m trying to speak to my own body the way I would speak to a friend’s. No more insults required.