For as long as I can remember I've been unhappy with my body. I've been fat, I've been thin and I've been somewhere in between.
Despite all these changes what has stayed consistent is a sense of self loathing about how my body looks. Even at my thinnest, when my parents asked me if I was making myself sick after eating (I wasn't), I was still unhappy with how I looked.
I don't think these types of issues are just limited to me. I see the same problems in a lot of my friends. Some focus on one part of their body, others say 'I'll do xx when I've lost xx lbs'. The fact that how they feel about their bodies stops them enjoying their lives to the full, makes me sad.
I wish that we would see ourselves how other people do. If we did I'm sure the picture would be much different.
I was in a shop with two friends the other day and wanted to try something on. My friend picked something out for me and asked what size I wanted. When I said medium, they replied 'surely that will be too big'. It wasn't. In fact, the medium was a bit snug but it just goes to show you how other people perceive your figure.
I'm tired of feeling self conscious of my body. It might not be perfect and I'm working to make small changes physically, but unless we crack our mental blocks when it comes to our bodies, no amount of weight loss, exercise or cellulite cream will make a difference. I used to weigh eight and a half stone. I exercised 5 hours per week and smoked 20 cigarettes a day. I wasn't that healthy, and I still wasn't happy with what I thought I saw in the mirror.
So how about we focus on how other people see us instead. After all, their 'mirrors' seem to be much clearer than our own.
Oh I know just what you mean,
ReplyDeleteIt's so unfair isn't it?
I just find it crazy. I'm so obsessed i'm fat and ugly and it's all the media's fault really, they build an image of what we should look like and airbrushed models make us realise that no matter what we do we;ll never look like them...
Every time someone insists i'm slim and/or pretty i just think they're being fake!
Kelly || DayDreamsDaisyChains.com
It's so difficult to see ourselves realistically. The media definitely doesn't help. A size 6 is effectively the same as a 7-8 yr old child in measurements, yet we are told this is 'normal'.
DeleteSo so true. Its been the same for me too. What is this constant pressure on ourselves? Over the last year or so I've found things getting better though- I've somehow started feeling that I should be ok with how I am made, and that thought seems to be coming into action a bit more with time. Each time I want to look like someone else I remind myself that my body isnt made that way- my hips can't be wider, my boobs small and perky, my legs longer... If I want to actually exercise into a strong body fine, but that body will still be mine, with many of the same limitations it had before. And I think I'm slowly getting to be ok with that. Slowly. But you know, if anyone has that magic accpetance pill, could I have some?
ReplyDeletexxx
I agree - we put for too much pressure on ourselves. You're right, we can't magically get taller or shrink hip bones, so maybe it's time to start accepting certain things and focus on being healthy instead x
DeleteExcellent post, I think I know which two friends you are talking about!
ReplyDeleteMaybe its part of human nature to always view ourselves a different way to how we really are? Its like when I was addicted to the sunbeds and I was super brown I would look in the mirror and think I hardly had any tan. I call myself "turbo-tan" when I see the pics of how I looked then but at the time I couldnt see it.
We all need to love ourselves more and accept that we might not have perfect bodies but being healthy is important. Easier said than done mind you xx
That's true - I saw your 'turbo tan' post the other day and it's amazing how different a mental picture of ourselves can be. Couldn't agree more about being healthy - I think we need a shift to 'healthy' over 'thin'. The two are very different! xx
DeleteI have friends who used to do the exact same thing when I was at my largest, they would forever be handing me clothes to try on that were two sizes too small. It got to the point where I didn’t enjoy shopping with them because the experience made me feel ashamed of my body!
ReplyDeleteThat's a shame - it must be irritating to feel that way, although I guess on the positive side, it shows they thought you were much thinner than you were x
DeleteIt's such a shame that we have such a hard time seeing the same person that other people see. I swear, sometimes we devote so much energy to looking a certain way when we forget to step back and realize how beautiful that we really are. I actually just did a post about distorted body image on my blog (http://samandro22.wordpress.com/2013/05/06/ugly-thoughts/). The reaction I got really surprised me. I couldn't believe how many women felt ugly about themselves on a regular basis. It's sad in a way.
ReplyDeletethanks for sharing your post - I agree with everything you said x
DeleteI feel like that all of the time. It comes in waves, I can accept my body the way it is for a little while but it's not long before I hate the way I look. A lot of the time it's if there's a guy in my life I'm seeing or whatever I can't possibly understand why they would find me attractive, I never feel good enough. It's stupid but I guess a lot of people feel the same way. Xxx
ReplyDeleteI think we all need to learn to love ourselves. I can totally understand where you're coming from x
DeleteAmen, preach. It's true, I think it's finding that ground where we are comfortable with whatever weight we are at. It's hard, I'm battling that constantly, doesn't make it easier when you go from various shops and your different sizes, I've now tried to focus more on how my health is than is my body as good looking as so & so's. Weight can be a serious health issue but putting ourselves down isn't going to help our way of thinking. Honest and great post babe. I think you look fab and when I do ever get to see you, we will bump our booties to death :) xo
ReplyDeleteI'm looking forward to a LaaLaa bootie bump xx
DeleteReally good post hun & i still dont believe that the medium was snug. anyway zara sizes are silly, i cant even squeeze in the largest side. Xx
ReplyDeletehe he, stupid Zara xx
DeleteI think this is such an important issue, it's so nice when people share their thoughts so we know that everyone is in the same boat. All next week im doing a little 'feminism week' over at my blog about sexism, body image etc, because this is so important to me. I would recommend you check out spark summit and everyday sexism because they're both really interesting websites on these topics xxx
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing - I look forward to reading your posts x
DeleteWhat a fantastic post, I agree with everything you said, I recently nearly turned down an opportunity to go a fab event because I was worried that people would then realise I was fat, I shook myself and got on with it and went and had a fab time, we are our harshest critics at times. x
ReplyDeleteI'm so glad you didn't turn it down! We are definitely our own worst enemies. Imagine if we spoke to our friends the way we spoke to ourselves! x
DeleteThis is a great post, thank you for being so honest about a topic that is usually skirted around or avoided all together. I am exactly the same as you, I've been big, small, in between and have never been happy, but in the last few months I have learnt it's about loving yourself for who you are, not necessarily what is on the outside, that will come as they go hand in hand.
ReplyDeleteAnd also as I've met you, I think you have a lovely figure and a great style/look. :)
Lyndsay xx
www.fizzypeaches.com
I think we all identify with these issues - we just need to learn to love ourselves! And thank you for the lovely compliment xx
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